Do you find yourself lying awake at night tossing and turning, replaying past conversations like a record? Questioning every word, every gesture? I can assure you that you are not alone. Many of us share this annoying thing to overthink, which can lead to self-doubt and anxiety as we constantly second-guess our interactions with others. But fear not, for I write this blog from personal experience to help you explore overthinking and discover powerful strategies to break free from its grip.
Understanding Overthinking:
Overthinking is a mental process in which a person repeatedly dwells on the same thoughts, often leading to interrupted sleep, stress and anxiety. It is essential to think things through, but overthinkers tend to get stuck in constant worry and contemplation. This constant rumination can harm our mental state, impacting our sleep, self-esteem, and personal growth. However, understanding that overthinking is detrimental to your life means you are taking the first step towards reclaiming control.
Signs You’re an Overthinker:
Revisiting Past Conversations: Overthinkers tend to dwell on the conversation, questioning every word and action instead of letting go of it and moving on. Recognising the pattern and knowing you’re not alone in this struggle is the first path to relief.
Creating Multiple Scenarios: Do you create multiple scenarios for every possible situation? Instead of making a decision based on the available information, overthinkers have a knack for imagining the best and worst outcomes, frequently turning a simple decision into a tangled mess of possibilities, which is exhausting and counterproductive, as it often leads to indecision or decisions based on fear rather than logic.
Decision-Making Challenges: For overthinkers, decision-making can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. The fear of making the wrong choice and the endless analysis of every potential consequence can leave you paralysed by indecision.
Seeking Reassurance: Overthinkers often seek validation of their thoughts and decisions from others, manifesting in things like asking for opinions on outfits, seeking approval for a project, or fishing for compliments. The need for external validation stems from more confidence in themselves and their judgment. It’s important to recognise this behaviour and work towards building self-confidence and trust in your own decisions.
Imagining Worst-Case Scenarios: If your mind can conjure up the most elaborate worst-case scenarios, welcome to the world of overthinkers! From imagining getting fired for a minor mistake to blowing out a fight to be the end of a budding relationship, overthinkers excel at painting pictures of doom and gloom.
The Impact of Overthinking:
The relationship between overthinking and self-esteem is intertwined. While overthinking can be a product of low self-esteem, it can also increase feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Constantly questioning oneself and replaying past mistakes can chip away confidence, leading to a negative self-perception. It’s a vicious cycle that might seem hard to break, but it’s possible to overcome with awareness and the right strategies.
Let me share a personal story. I used to be a constant overthinker, especially when finding love. In my 20s, my tendency to overanalyse everything prevented me from fully embracing love. I would replay conversations in my head, questioning every word and action, creating countless scenarios of how things could go wrong or his actions did not mean he liked me. This constant overthinking made me doubt myself and my worth, leading to continuously self-sabotaging my relationships.
It wasn’t until I found self-development that I began to crack the code of preventing overthinking. Through new perspectives and self-love, I learned to accept myself for who I truly am. I realised that external validation or the opinions of others did not decide my worth; my self-perception mattered.
Breaking Free from Overthinking:
Embracing Your Values: Understanding your core values can be a powerful tool for avoiding overthinking and pitfalls. Knowing what truly matters to you makes decisions and prioritising actions easier without getting lost in endless analysis.
Releasing Negative Beliefs: Letting go of negative beliefs about yourself is crucial for overcoming overthinking. These beliefs often fuel the cycle of doubt and anxiety. Practice self-compassion; it’s time to start being kind and understanding towards yourself and challenge these negative thoughts to break free from their grip.
Gaining a New Perspective: Sometimes, a fresh perspective is all it takes to overcome overthinking. Talk to a friend or mentor or work with a coach who can help you find the answers within for a new perspective and offer an outside view. New perspectives can help you see situations more clearly and reduce the tendency to overanalyse.
What causes overthinking?
Various factors, including stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and past experiences, can cause overthinking. It often stems from a fear of making mistakes or a desire for perfection.
How can I stop overthinking?
To stop overthinking, we need to turn inwards. Try mindfulness exercises like deep breathing exercises, body scans, guided meditations, and Hypnosis to do this. These practices help you stay present and reduce the tendency to get lost in your thoughts. It’s also helpful to set aside time for decision-making.
Can overthinking affect my health?
Yes, overthinking can affect your health by increasing stress levels, leading to anxiety and depression, disrupting sleep, and causing physical symptoms like headaches and muscle tension.
How can I help someone who overthinks?
To help someone who overthinks, offer a listening ear, provide reassurance, and encourage them to seek the help they need. Suggest mindfulness practices and remind them to focus on their values and positive aspects of themselves.
Being an overthinker is like having a superpower that works against you. While thinking profoundly and analysing situations can be beneficial, overthinking can often spiral out of control, impacting self-esteem and hindering personal growth. But remember, it’s not a permanent state. By finding a balance between introspection and action, you can break free from the shackles of overthinking and nurture a healthier sense of self. This journey is about liberation and growth, and it’s within your reach.
Stay mindful, present, and, most importantly, stay true to yourself. As the great philosopher Winnie the Pooh once said, “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” If you recognise that overthinking prevents you from living your life to your full potential, try one of the above strategies or seek help. It is easier to gain a new perspective when someone guides you.
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