I was often told the old saying if you don’t love yourself, why should you expect others to love you. On a conscious level I always got it, but it seemed hard when all I could hear inside my head was your not good enough, not pretty enough, comparing myself to others and wanting to be someone else other than myself. I was confusing myself sending out mixed message so how could I expect other to love me?
I always wished life were like a movie where even if life was shit for a time, then the story would end and somehow there would be an ending that suited the movie. I just had to watch the movie and let the actors and scriptwriters perform their masterpiece and allow me to escape into their life only to eventually compare my life to the storyline and wish for something different.
If I continue to focus on oh poor me how life has cheated me, and how I had been hurt, and not getting what I wanted then I will continue to feel judged and not worthy.
I had to put my big girl pants on and realise that I know it hurts but if I have a shit life it is my fault!!
I had to learn that life is not like a movie that I must get off my backside and make my life into something that I can be proud and find the real me so I could fall in love with myself. I had to find, experience, and develop the emotional intelligence of emotional clarity.
Along my journey I learnt that understanding my emotions and know what I am feeling in my head and heart is not enough. I had to realise that there is the other side of the coin where I had to pay attention to how my emotional reactions affected how I communicated and then understand how others perceived me because of those reactions. When we think others see us one way we can overreact, and the consequences is miscommunication and then we beat ourselves up.
Shifting my perspective was also about learning what internal programs were running in the background of my mind which decided how I responded or overreacted to situations. Through self-development and Creatrix® I have been able to Release, Relearn, Recode Reframe and Recreate so that those internal programs have been rebooted with new upgraded programs so I can move forward no longer overreacting and living life feeling more connected and happier. I invite you to reach out to me now if you are seeking happier connections in your life and wishing to give your internal programs a reboot.
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